Until recently, I've been of the opinion that new parents and generally people with kids are a little smug. Ok, parents who read this, please don't jump all the way down my throat just yet. It's just that a lot of times people act like you can't have fully experienced life without knowing the love from a child. While I realize that this is a definite possibly, I don't feel the need to be reminded of it time and time again. I feel like living in the South, there's a lot of pressure to get married and have kids at the earliest possible time. I totally believe in the family unit and someday want that to be my life. But, at this time I'm focused on school, my wife and I are traveling often, and it's a lot of selfish fun. Sure all my cousins have kids and even one of their kids has one; but I don't quite see how that translates to my mom's constant badgering and the looks of surprise that I've been married for 3 WHOLE YEARS and don't have children yet. Having kids is like some exclusive country club, that keeps out all the lowly childless so that the members can sit hiiiiiigh on their pedastal and look down at the non-members. Or at least something similar.
HOWEVER, yesterday my brother and his wife had the first baby in my immediately family yesterday and it was pretty amazing. My brother has lived kind of a scattered life with some issues along the way, but it's amazing to me how immediately changed he became when his wife got pregnant. Not to mention the exponential leap when he saw the baby for the first time. I was lucky enough to be there when the family got to visit with them the first time and I was blown away. I say all this to say that I think I get it, and I feel myself as a new uncle maybe getting....a little smug myself. When I do have kids, I'll probably be the smuggest jerk new parent on the block.
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Philip,
ReplyDeleteI love your post. I am one of those smug parents you are talking about. I have to get it out of the way by saying having a child is the best thing in the world, but I think it's great that you want to wait. I moved here from Houston I noticed the same thing that people get married young, and have children immediately. Most of them seem to do it just because everyone else is. I have several friends with the same pressures you talk about. I love my daughter more than I ever thought I could love anything, but my husband and I had her quicker than was planned and we missed out on the married life alone. My advice is take your time, travel, and go out to eat often because you'll never enjoy it the same again. I'm sure you'll be a smug parent soon, but for now live life and have fun!
I have two children--ages 34 and almost 29--and they aren't in any hurry to get married or have children. My oldest sister has five grandchildren; she's as smug as they get! I'll tell you, grandparents are worse!
ReplyDeleteK. Smith
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