Trappings of the Bored Mind

I'm generally of the belief that every day people have thousands of totally random thoughts that go uncatalogued but are thoroughly interesting and noteworthy. I've made a habit in recent years of trying to notice some of the particularly interesting thoughts that run through my head and recount them from time to time. The only ones I can remember now actually are the more embarrassing thoughts and impulses, but I'm convinced everyone has these moments but I'm the only one willing to admit them...or at least that's what I have to tell myself so that I feel better.

One night my friends and I were eating dinner on the porch at Cantina Laredo. I recall the air was sticky and muggy and it was particularly busy that night so the restaurant was bustling. When our server brought the check and we got ready to pay, we were sitting at the table and I was fumbling my wallet in my hands. Sitting in front of me was the glass of ice water that had long before melted into just water. I distinctly remember an AHA! moment when I had the most brilliant idea...which because of its ridiculous nature, I immediately ruled out. However, I did not miss the opportunity to recall the urge to my friends at the table...imagine the looks on their faces when I described to them my desire to "dip my wallet in my glass of water."

I didn't realize the number 10 could be so tricky; but, it's shiftier than I would have originally thought. One morning while in the shower, I was generally spending time doing nothing except enjoying the hot water and steam and noticed that my shampoo bottle was advertising to me how wonderful it is. Right there on the bottle, it told me that I could have 10X (10 times) stronger hair. However the first several times I read this, I had the hardest time figuring out what the HECK "iox stronger hair" was. Luckily, I resisted the urge to ask my wife (the hair care enthusiast) about IOX...the unknown shampoo miracle that must have been some fortifying vitamin complex about which I had not yet been made aware.

Being employed by a small community bank has its advantages, but "mandatory volunteer" work is NOT one of them. We had worked for weeks leading up to the local daffodil festival called the Jonquil Jubilee and I kept reading about what the brochure called "Mini-organ concerts." After my shift at the festival, I decided to take the tour for myself and experience all the beauty the area has to offer (which is limited). The first stop on the tour was a very old church where these concerts were taking place. As I walked into the vestibule, it became clear to me that I'd made a crucial error in my mind. It was only then that I realized that the concerts were MINI, not the ORGANS....which were obviously full-sized. People at work still have a hard time believing that I thought this but why would you say "mini-organ concerts," as opposed to what they actually were, "organ mini-concerts?" Semantics, seshmantics...that's confusing!

No one would have ever known these instances, but they all are just too funny to keep to myself. A little self-sacrifice for the sake of humor is a very small price to pay. I really am ok with the very possible fact that most people have not had these experiences. I'll just chalk it up to experience and hope someone gets at least a small kick out of it like I have so many times.